Author Kristi Hancock: Best & Worst Pickup Lines

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KRISTI HANCOCK

At first I thought, what in the world am I going to write about? I’ve been married for what seems like forever, and I dated my husband exclusively for almost four years before that. So I decided to cheat. My sister is divorced and just experienced the worst pick-up attempt of her life. I’m going to share her nightmare then I’ll tell you the simple thing my husband did to hook me then reel me in.

Sis, who isn’t currently “on the hunt” has an old friend from high school who plays acoustic covers at different bars near where she lives. She likes to go see him with some of her girl and guy friends from high school to indulge in some no-pressure nostalgia. The singer–we’ll call him Mike–knows their little tribe comes just to see and support him, so he visits with them between sets.

Approaching one of Mike’s breaks on a Saturday, an older gentleman sidled up to my sister and started hitting on her. Whatever his come-ons were, they had zero impact on Sis who kept finding more creative and aggressive ways to say “no” while simultaneously flagging Mike down to come save her.

My sister is gorgeous and always has been. I’ve spent my life watching men fall all over themselves to grovel at her feet, leaving me to wonder, What am I? Chopped liver? The point being that I can imagine exactly how this man did whatever he could to garner her attention. He worked hard at it. Before Mike could finish his song and come to Sis’s rescue, the man knocked his drink over. On my sister. On purpose. He then proceeded to wipe it off her exposed legs as she fought off his octopus-like moves.

Then he said, “I’m as bad as my grandchildren.”

Sis isn’t looking for someone at all right now and has only dated guys her own age. Nothing against AARP members, but she isn’t interested in pursuing them or anyone else. Regardless, she’s just not into more experienced men, let alone seeking them out on Match.com. I can only imagine her trying to clean herself up while simultaneously fending him off–while holding down her mini-skirt and sitting on a barstool at a hightop table. Imagine anyone trying to do that without falling off the seat.

Talk about what not to do.

Which begs the question, What in the world did my husband do to land a wild child like me?

He didn’t say a word. Mr. H. is a major introvert and barely spoke with anyone in our group of friends. He came to visit his brother in our college town right after I left for a two-month internship, so he had bonded with our group while I was away. One of us graduated shortly after I returned, and our small circle of friends met up in a fast food parking lot before heading to the ceremony.

I said, “I’m thirsty.”

He passed me his Mountain Dew.

We spent the rest of the day together, talking all through her party and into the night.
In the morning, he kissed me when the sun came up. Sigh.

Every time I share that story I fall in love with him all over again. We’re living the dream: happily ever after.

Kristi Hancock- HRrockhisworld
Rock His World Blurb

Sasha Ford lives life her way. Tattooed, pierced, and professionally satisfied, the Seattle music-lover has found her groove. She’s living her dream as a free-spirited graphic artist, but the fearless vixen has grown bored with her booty-calls and is on the prowl for a new conquest. Her trademark black eyeliner and scarlet lips serve as both invitation and warning to any man she pursues.

Seven years of college transformed small-town bad boy Avery Kingston into a super-geek. New to the city with his shiny PhD, he struggles to find his social identity by connecting with his tough guy roots. Attempting to merge his past with his present in the counter-culture, he finds himself in over his head—especially when sexy Sasha drags him into her world of mosh-pits and after-parties.

Sasha only expects a one night stand, but their searing chemistry leads them in a direction she’s less than comfortable with. Confronted with the female version of who Avery thought he could be, Sasha’s sexual advances bring out a carnal need to give as good as he gets. Sasha believes she can’t maintain her own identity if she’s in a serious relationship, but Avery wants more than sex from his hot rebel. He must convince her of his love and respect for her fierce independent streak or say goodbye to her forever. Is Avery strong enough to make Sasha break her own rules?

Pre-order Links: Liquid Silver Books | Amazon

About Kristi Hancock

After years as a slave to corporate America riding in Learjets and limos, Kristi Hancock dropped out of the business world to teach English and reading at an inner city school. A voracious romance reader since her teens, she was thrilled to discover she could write something more than technical manuals and business proposals. She lives with her husband, a tabby cat, a Maltese, and dozens of colorful fish. She loves being a passenger on her man’s motorcycle as they carve up winding mountain roads and speed across the local lake in their boat. With a Buddha statue on her desk, a teddy bear dressed like Shakespeare on her shelf, and a drawing of a skull with a Mohawk on her wall, she lets her imagination run wild as her characters tell her their naughty stories for all the world to read.

Connect with Kristi: Website | Blog | Facebook | Twitter

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